It’s Tuesday, and I have a little Lovecraftian story for you today! Equal parts allegory, Lovecraft, and wholesale theft of Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

If you don’t know what Lovecraftian means, just know that Cthulhu is a godlike being that may drive you insane.

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Are You There, Cthulhu?

by Rick Cook Jr.

Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret. I’ve never prayed before but the guy on TV said you were always listening.

I got into a fight today with the man who thinks he’s my father. Just ’cause he married my mom doesn’t make him my dad. Does it?

I want my real dad back, but the guy on TV says that it can’t happen. That you don’t work that way. Why not? You make people happy, but you can’t make me?

Anyway, I’m sorry to bother you. I hope you have a solution. Amen.

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Are you still there, God? It’s me again. Margaret?

I think maybe you got my instructions confused. The guy on TV says not to question your methods, that you always have a plan, but I’m not so sure.

My stepdad started acting like my real dad. But it’s still my stupid stepdad.

Can I have him back or not? I don’t mean to be upset or angry with you. You’re obviously trying.

Please give me back my dad. Amen.

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I’m sure you remember me by now, God. Margaret.

My stepdad is scary now. He spouts gibberish and speaks with two voices. Mom doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong, but I can tell she’s worried, too. Worried how I’ll react. Worried who I’ll tell.

When he isn’t chanting I think sometimes he might be my real dad. He is kind, and remembers things my stepdad couldn’t. But then he hugs me too tight and I can’t breathe, and it feels like there’s something in my head, telling me it will all be okay.

Can you make him stop, God? I don’t want my dad back anymore. I just want things to go back to the way they were. Please make the voices stop. Amen.

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Margaret. God. What are gods. Father is back. Thank you. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh C’thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Amen.

THE END

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I’d like to take this opportunity to let people know that there’s a super neat anthology that came out last month that has stories in it about the Lovecraftian mythos, but completely written by women.

She Walks in Shadows is available in print and ebook, and one of my friends has a story in it, so go check that one out if you’re interested in more Lovecraftian stories!